


closer than we appear

by wintersun66



Category: NCT (Band), SuperM (Korea Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan & Mark Lee Are Best Friends, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan is Whipped, M/M, Mark Lee (NCT) is Whipped, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Soft Mark Lee (NCT), basically they are both whipped for each other, hyuck sees mark's teaser and now he is whipped, kind of canon compliant but not really, markhyuck, norenmin if you squint - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-25
Updated: 2020-01-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:07:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22395262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wintersun66/pseuds/wintersun66
Summary: Donghyuck watches Mark's SuperM teaser and now he can't look at him the same way.(for the full experience watch Mark's SuperM teaser before you read this, like Donghyuck does :] )
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Comments: 22
Kudos: 608
Collections: Favorites





	closer than we appear

Donghyuck is still staring at his computer screen even though the video stopped a while ago and the screen has gone black.

He blinks. Once, then twice. Leaning back in his chair, Donghyuck swivels around and runs his fingers through his golden curls, trying to calm his racing heart.

He blows out a slow breath. "Fuck."

"Hyuck?"

Donghyuck snaps his eyes up to the doorway and meets the eyes of none other than Mark Lee himself.

_Shit._

"What are you-" But Mark doesn't get to finish his sentence due to the door being slammed in his face.

Mark's muffled curses can be heard through the door. "Fucking shit _ouch_ , Donghyuck what the _fuck_ -"

Donghyuck leans his back against the door. "Go away," he says just barely loud enough to hear through the door.

"Donghyuck-"

"Fuck off Mark," Donghyuck shouts, praying that Mark gets the message loud and clear.

He hears a slight shuffling behind the door and then to his relief, silence. 

Slowly, Donghyuck slides his back down the door until his knees are at his chest. He cradles his head in his hands. 

When he closes his eyes all he sees is SuperM Mark.

"Fuck," he says again.

_I'm so fucking screwed._   
  
  


When Donghyuck goes to the kitchen at midnight, it's just his _fucking_ luck that Mark is sitting at the table with a bowl full of cereal.

_Just don't look at him._

Mark glares at him as he opens the fridge. "Are you gonna explain why you shut the door on my face earlier?"

"Nope," Donghyuck says, not sparing him a glance as he grabs a red bull.

Mark huffs out in disbelief. "You're unbelievable, you know that?"

"I know," Donghyuck says, walking out the door.  
  
  


Practice the next day is worse.

Donghyuck ignores Mark the whole time and only talks when he has to.

During one of their breaks, it just so happens that Mark and Donghyuck end up near the water dispenser at the same time.

As Mark gulps from his bottle slowly, Donghyuck eyes follow the movement of his Adam's apple even though he's supposed to be paying attention to his own water bottle being refilled.

When did Mark's neck veins start to look so...prominent? When did his muscles start to look so...enticing? When did his lips start to look so...inviting?

Donghyuck groans when he realises his train of thought. For fuck's sake, now he's paying attention to the way Mark drinks _water_? 

The sound of the water spilling from his overflowing bottle onto the floor snaps him out of his thoughts. " _Fuck_ ," he hisses, reaching for the nearby paper towels.

Though Donghyuck is trying to ignore him, he can see the way Mark raises his eyebrows at him from the corner of his eyes.

"Hyuck-"

Donghyuck stalks out of the room and barely makes it to the bathroom before he screams in frustration.

_Why the fuck am I thinking about him like that?_

Then the realisation hits him with such force, he has to place his hands on either side of the sink to steady himself. "Oh my god, am I _attracted_ to Mark Lee?" Donghyuck says out loud, dumbfounded.

He glares at his reflection in the mirror. _Traitor_ he thinks savagely _._  
  


The next week passes by much in the same way. Mark would try and talk to him and Donghyuck would avoid him at all costs. Too many times, Donghyuck found himself thinking about Mark in the teaser, which got him thinking about Mark in real life and Donghyuck wanted to scream every time he caught himself doing it.

When Donghyuck finally reaches his limit, he decides to confide in his hyungs.

"I don't see how that's a problem," Jaehyun tells him when Donghyuck finally gets it all out one night.

Donghyuck sits on the edge of his bed and puts his head in his hands. "But he's such a fucking nerd," he whines.

Then he remembers the way he looked in the teaser. _A fucking hot nerd_.

"Well you're not wrong," Ten says. "He's completely oblivious too. He asked me if he's been _too mean_ to you lately, whatever the fuck that means," he snickers.

Donghyuck snaps his head up. "Hey nobody talks badly about Mark Lee except me," he says with narrowed eyes.

Johnny and Ten burst into laughter at that and Donghyuck just stares at them with a frown. _What's so funny?_

"Guys," Jaehyun says admonishingly, though Donghyuck can tell he's trying to hide a smile.

"Tell me what's so funny," Donghyuck says with a pout.

Ten smirks. "Looks like Mark isn't the only oblivious one."

"I'm not oblivious," Donghyuck insists. "I literally just admitted I'm attracted to him."

Ten shoots him a sly wink and Jaehyun throws him an encouraging thumbs up as they leave and Donghyuck can't help but think he's missing something.  
  
  


For the most part, Donghyuck does a good job at avoiding Mark the whole week. However, he isn't expecting Mark to corner him after a practice with Dream one night. 

Before Donghyuck can even process it, Mark grabs his hand and brings him to an empty practice room.

Instead of letting go, Mark just takes Donghyuck's other hand too, rubbing his thumbs over Donghyuck's knuckles slowly.

Donghyuck finds himself relaxing a little. _Maybe we_ should _talk?_

"Hyuck..." Marks begins, looking at him with genuine concern. "I'm lost. Please tell me what I did wrong?"

"You didn't do anything wrong, dumbass," Donghyuck tells him. Despite his words, Donghyuck avoids looking into his eyes.

Mark frowns in confusion. "Why are you acting so weirdly around me then? Avoiding me?"

Donghyuck closes his eyes. "I-I can't tell you." Nevermind, he's definitely not ready to tell him.

Mark groans in frustration. "Hyuck, this isn't fair. You can't just decide you don't want anything to do with me."

Donghyuck snaps his eyes open. _What the fuck?_ "You think I don't want anything to do with you anymore?"

Mark goes on. "Yeah, I mean...you've been dodging me pretty fucking hard. But Donghyuck, we have to work together, we have to live together. And...you're my best friend, Hyuckie. Whatever is going on, we have to talk about it."

Donghyuck wants to laugh badly because how could Mark think Donghyuck doesn't want anything to do with him anymore? The whole reason he's avoiding him anyway is because he's afraid if Mark finds out about his feelings, Mark won't want anything to do with _him_. But then he takes a look at Mark's face and realises how confused he must be feeling. And now Donghyuck feels guilt bubble up in his tummy - after all, it really isn't Mark's fault.

Donghyuck takes a deep breath. "Alright, I'll tell you."

Mark breathes a sigh of relief. "Okay, so what is it?"

"I-I watched your teaser," Donghyuck stammers and now that he's said it, he wants to die. _One_ video and now he's thinking about Mark every second of every day.

Mark, on the other hand, just blinks at him. "Uh- you mean my SuperM teaser?"

Donghyuck nods.

Mark shakes his head in confusion. "It was so bad you don't want anything to do with me now?"

Donghyuck groans. "Oh my god, you're really going to make me say it, huh? Of all the dumbasses..." Donghyuck mutters under his breath. _Of all the dumbasses I had to find attractive it had to be you._

They're close enough that Mark catches it.

"Spell it out for me Hyuck, this dumbass is a little slow," Mark says dryly.

"I-I..." Donghyuck hesitates. 

Then he pulls his leg up sharply, kneeing Mark in the balls.

"F-" Mark wheezes, letting go of him immediately. Donghyuck uses the distraction to scamper out of the room as fast as he can.

"Donghyuck!" Mark yells furiously once he catches his breath.  
  
  
  
When it becomes clear that the hyungs aren't going to give him any useful advice (and evidently they only find the situation funny), Donghyuck decides to speak to his 00 line friends during their next practice.

"Wait," Jeno says. "I thought you love Mark?"

Donghyuck laughs nervously. "Yes, obviously. We all love Mark," he says. 

"No I'm-" Jeno starts.

"Let's start out small Jen," Jaemin interrupts. "Hyuck, how do you feel about Mark?"

Donghyuck rolls his eyes. "Jaemin-"

"Ah, ah, ah," Jaemin says, shaking his head. "Humor me." 

Donghyuck sighs. How does he feel about Mark? Well, he cares about him. A lot. He thinks he's fun to be around and a cool guy. He thinks he's a great person who always looks for the good in others, always tries to help out others. He's a little too critical of himself. And so fucking _stubborn_. But he's kind, caring - he's _so_ caring. He's so talented, good at almost everything he does and if he isn't, he works hard to be. Donghyuck thinks about this and realises how lucky he is to call someone like Mark his best friend. 

Donghyuck suddenly realises they're all staring at him expectantly, waiting for an answer. He swallows. "He's my best friend," he tells them honestly.

Renjun sits down with a sigh.

"Yes, _but,_ " Jaemin says through a tight smile. "How do you _feel_?" 

"I...I like him. I feel good about him. _He_ makes me feel good." 

Jaemin looks satisfied with his answer and Jeno smiles, his eyes thinning to crescents. "Cute," he snickers.

Donghyuck stands up. "Wait, but that doesn't help my problem at all." 

Renjun speaks up. "I think we just proved it's not really a problem, Hyuck."

Donghyuck stares at them like they're idiots. "Guys, _I have become attracted to my best friend_. Don't you think that's a problem?" 

Renjun, Jeno and Jaemin all look at each other with small, knowing smiles. "It isn't for us."

"Oh for fuck's sake," Donghyuck groans. "Why did I think talking to you three would help?"

"Look, Hyuck," Renjun tells him. "You already love Mark in a platonic way. Is it so bad that you love him in a non-platonic way too?"

"I don't- I don't love him in a _non-platonic_ way, asshole," Donghyuck hisses, feeling his ears burning. "I love him like he's my best friend and that's it. Like...like I love you guys. I love him like that."

_...Right?_

When Donghyuck goes to bed that night, he finds himself thinking about Renjun's words and wondering if maybe there was some truth behind them.

Donghyuck can't say he's surprised when Mark corners him at the dorm, so soon after the last time they talked. After all, he _did_ knee him in the balls and run away.

(That doesn't mean he doesn't try to run away again though.)

"Are you gonna tell me what the fuck is going on?" Mark reaches for his arm. 

"No-" Donghyuck says quickly trying to avoid his touch.

Mark grabs his waist and slams him against the wall. "Let me rephrase. Tell me what the fuck is going on, _now_."

Donghyuck's breath hitches when he feels every inch of Mark's muscled body pressing against his softer one. "M-Mark..."

Mark shakes his head. "I tried asking nicely, Hyuck. Whatever is going on with you, we're fixing it right now."

Donghyuck laughs breathily. "Fixing it? There's no fixing it. Trust me, I've tried."

"What is it exactly? What's wrong? It's something to do with my teaser right?"

Donghyuck gulps and nods his head. "Yes...about you...I...shit, I can't say it," he gasps, eyes squeezing shut. Because saying it would make it real. Even worse, it would make it real for Mark. And Donghyuck doesn't want anything to change between them.

He feels Mark's fingers tighten on his waist.

"Hyuckie," Mark murmurs. "Look at me please."

Donghyuck opens his eyes and sees the confusion in Mark's pleading eyes. "Tell me," he whispers.

And he trusts Mark, more than anyone. He trusts their friendship. So saying this shouldn't change anything...right? Donghyuck really hoped it was true.

Donghyuck swallows. "God, this is so fucking embarrassing." He pauses to take a deep breath. "After I watched your teaser....I see you...differently."

"You see me differently," Mark repeats. "Like in a bad way?"

"Not exactly," Donghyuck replies weakly.

"Okay Donghyuck, I'm gonna need you to say things clearly because I have no fucking clue what you're talking about."

"Do we have to talk about it right now? We can talk later-" Donghyuck says, trying to get out of Mark's hold to no avail.

He briefly considers kneeing Mark again and Mark’s fingers tighten slightly like he knows what he's thinking.

"Donghyuck." Mark's eyes are serious.

Donghyuck closes his eyes again tightly - he doesn't want to see Mark's face for this. "I started...seeing you as...more," he whispers, his heart beating faster at the words.

"More? You mean..." And this time it's Mark whose breath hitches.

"I'm sorry," Donghyuck blurts out. "I'll make it stop. I-I don't fucking know how, but I will."

"Donghyuck," Mark says quietly. "It's okay."

Donghyuck opens his eyes slowly to look at Mark. "It's okay?"

Mark meets his eyes hesitantly. "Yeah, of course it's okay. I-I also...sometimes see you...differently."

Donghyuck's lips part in surprise. "What?" _Is he saying..._

Mark looks uncomfortable now. "Yeah I mean you're so..." He gestures helplessly at Donghyuck. "You know..."

Donghyuck stares at him like he grew another head. "No, I don't ‘know’. What the fuck are you talking about?"

"You know what?" Mark's voice goes up an octave. "You were right, I don't think we need to talk about it right now."

He lets go of him suddenly and before Donghyuck can blink, Mark has already left the room.  
  
  


They don't talk properly for a month. A whole fucking month. And Donghyuck feels like he’s dying. Because even though recently he's been busy with Dream and Mark has been busy with preparing for SuperM, they have never gone this long without at least _texting_. Sure, they still see each other around, but while Donghyuck tries hard to go back to normal, Mark avoids him just as hard.

Donghyuck's stomach twists with anxiety at the thought that he and Mark might never talk again outside of work at all. Because Mark is Donghyuck's best friend, one of the most important people in his life and he _needs_ him. That, on top of the pressure of being in two units simultaneously, makes Donghyuck feel physically and emotionally stressed out of his mind.

So when Jaemin asks him if he wants to come over to the Dream dorm to drink on their night off, he agrees immediately.

One drink becomes two, two becomes eight and by the end of the night, Donghyuck is hammered.

Jaemin holds him up, though he isn't fairing much better. "You okay to get home? You could just crash here?"

"I'm fine Jaem, I-I'll call Mark." Because Donghyuck has been waiting the entire night to gain the confidence to talk to Mark and it just so happens he had to be completely wasted to do it.

"No, no," Jaemin slurs, trying to grab Donghyuck's phone out of his hand. "You're mad at him remember?"

That doesn't sound right to Donghyuck. _Wait, am I mad at Mark?_

Donghyuck blinks at him blearily. "No I'm not? He's the one who's avoiding me."

"Oh," Jaemin says nodding slowly. "Okay, fine then. Permission granted to talk to Big Head Lee Mark," he drawls, giving him a lazy mock salute.

But instead of calling Mark, Donghyuck calls a taxi. Because he _misses_ Mark. He wants to _see_ Mark.

So he decides he's going to see him right now.

When he finally stumbles through Mark's door and he sees Mark awake and lying on his bed, Donghyuck feels an overwhelming sense of relief. All he wants is for Mark to hold him and talk to him in his deep, comforting voice.

"Hyuck?" The shocked look on Mark's face reminds him that things aren't normal between them right now.

"What the fuck, Mark Lee?" Donghyuck slurs as he points at Mark accusingly.

He starts to make his way across the room before Mark can tell him to leave, but ends up misjudging a wire on the ground and tripping over it. 

Mark rushes to hold him up. "Donghyuck..."

" _You_ said," Donghyuck jabs him hard in the chest with his finger. " _You_ said it was okay. Why are you avoiding me?"

Mark doesn't have an answer for him. 

(The truth is, he's avoiding Donghyuck because he's embarrassed he almost confessed. But he can't exactly tell him that without confessing.)

To Mark's horror, Donghyuck's eyes pool with tears. "Did I ruin everything? Are we never gonna talk to each other again? I-I...would you believe me if I said I was joking? Or I'm over it? What can I say to make us go back to n-normal-" he chokes on a sob and Mark's heart breaks a little at the sight.

He gathers Donghyuck in his arms and they both slide to the floor.

"No, no Hyuckie, baby," Mark murmurs soothingly, carding his fingers through his tousled hair. "Of course you didn't ruin anything." And Donghyuck feels so warm now, so safe in Mark's arms. Slowly, he can feel his breathing return to normal.

"Why don't you talk to me anymore then?" Donghyuck asks him. He shifts himself in Mark's lap so that his arms are around Mark's neck and his face is buried in the crook of Mark's neck.

"I'm embarrassed," Mark responds.

Donghyuck frowns and pulls back to look at Mark's face. And sure enough, Mark is avoiding Donghyuck's eyes.

"Why? I won't look at you that way anymore, we can just-"

"Not because of you, Hyuck," Mark interrupts. "I-I'm embarrassed because I...I almost said something to you and it just...it wouldn't have been good."

And Donghyuck doesn't know if it's because he's drunk or he's just tired but he can't process Mark's words very well, just knows that he's upset. He presses closer to Mark, hoping that his touch gives Mark at least a fraction of the comfort Mark's touch gives him. 

Mark gives a little sigh and rubs Donghyuck's back slowly.

"Why wouldn't it have been good? You're Mark Lee, everything about you is good," Donghyuck mumbles sleepily into his neck.

Mark laughs a little at that. "I don't know about that Hyuck."

"I do," Donghyuck murmurs. And Donghyuck feels so comfortable and warm that he finds it difficult to keep his eyes open anymore.

Donghyuck wakes up early the next morning and is surprised to find himself in his own bed. 

_I barely remember leaving the Dreamies, thank god I made it back here okay..._

When Donghyuck makes his way into the living room later, an achingly familiar voice calls out behind him. "Hey Hyuck, can I talk to you?"

Donghyuck's eyes widen. _He's talking to me again?_ And usually, Donghyuck would put up a bit more of a fight, be a little mean, act a little petty, but it's just been _so long_ since he's had a conversation with Mark that he easily gives in. He clears his throat quickly. "Of course, dumbass."

Mark rolls his eyes at the name but smiles anyway. Donghyuck moves to the sofa, patting the empty spot next to him and Mark settles down close enough that their thighs are pressing against each other.

He glances sideways at Donghyuck nervously, smile quickly fading. "It's about...why I've been avoiding you."

Donghyuck feels his cheeks warm. "Oh."

"Yeah...I just wanted to tell you it wasn't because you said your feelings towards me...changed."

Donghyuck opens his mouth to speak but Mark presses a finger to his lips lightly. "Hold on, I just need to say this."

"I was avoiding you because that night, when you told me that...I also told you that I see you...you know, another way. I didn't really explain it cause I would have to um...And I didn't know if you would...but now you're hurting and...okay I- okay," Mark stumbles over his words and pauses to take a deep breath. (Donghyuck just watches him patiently, knowing that he'll eventually find the words to say whatever he's trying to say.) "Okay, I'm just gonna say it."

Mark takes Donghyuck's hands in his. His eyes find Donghyuck's.

"I'm in love with you, Lee Donghyuck."

Donghyuck gasps. Heat immediately floods his cheeks, but he can't tear his eyes away from Mark's.

Mark continues. "I've been in love with you since you were 14 and I was 15 and you showed me what life's really about. I know that sounds cheesy as fuck, but seriously, I'd never met anyone as free as you and I found you fascinating. I thought, how could someone be so different from me but feel so familiar, you know? And it only deepened as we grew up together. You grew into this amazing person...sometimes- sometimes I can't even believe you're real, Hyuck," Mark says with wide eyes, looking between Donghyuck's eyes with so much tenderness. "You're so fucking beautiful. Inside and out. I don't know how anyone _couldn't_ fall in love with you-" Mark's voice cracks a little. He finally looks away from Donghyuck down to his knees and takes a shaky breath. "I know- I know you said you feel differently about me now, but it's okay if you don't- if you don't feel as strongly as I do. I'm not asking you to fall in love with me too by saying this. I just wanted you to know that I wasn't avoiding you because of what you said."

And when he looks at Mark now, Donghyuck feels sure of his feelings, has never felt surer about anything in his life.

Donghyuck's fingers make their way to Mark's hand, urging him to look at him again. "Well it's too late, Mark Lee," he tells him softly. "I went and fell in love with you anyway."

Mark's eyes widen in wonder. "You-are you serious?"

Donghyuck gives him a small smile. "You think I'm joking?"

Mark looks at him pointedly. "Well I wouldn't put it past _mmphh_ -"

Because Donghyuck knows the only way to let Mark know that his feelings are true is to show him (and maybe he just really wants to kiss him).

After a while, Donghyuck tries to pull back to take a much-needed breath but Mark chases his lips hungrily. Donghyuck laughs breathlessly. "I need to breathe Mark," he whispers, holding a finger up to his lips. 

Mark whines at that and takes Donghyuck's hand away, threading their fingers together instead. He moves to press his lips to Donghyuck's jaw, then his neck, and Donghyuck hazily realises that he's following the trail of moles dotted on his skin.

"Always wanted to do this," Mark murmurs against his skin and Donghyuck shivers slightly, curling his fingers around Mark's nape.

"M-Mark..." 

"You're so pretty Hyuckie," Mark whispers and then moves up to kiss Donghyuck's cheeks, and then nose. "Love you so much."

He brushes their noses together once, grazes their lips lightly then moves back down.

"Fuck, Mark," Donghyuck gasps when Mark starts sucking on the skin below his ear lightly. 

"You're so sensitive," Mark giggles when he's done.

"S-shut up," Donghyuck says with flushed cheeks. He shoves Mark away from him and gives him the most annoyed look he can muster.

Mark just laughs and takes his hand. "Wanna go cuddle in bed?" 

"Fuck yeah," Donghyuck says, already pulling Mark to a stand. 

And if Mark and Donghyuck spend the rest of the day cuddling _and_ making out...well then, that’s nobody’s business.

(The next morning, Donghyuck can't stop saying "Ya!" every few minutes. And Mark is _so_ confused because even though he doesn't get why Donghyuck keeps saying it, Mark knows when he's being made fun of.

"Ya!" Donghyuck imitates again.

"What's that?" Mark asks in confusion. "What's that 'Ya!'?"

"You know, it's from your SuperM teaser. Right when you start to rap," Donghyuck says nonchalantly.

"Oh?" Mark says smiling.

"Mhm," Donghyuck nods, trying not to smile too.

"You really liked my teaser, huh Hyuckie?" Mark says now smirking.

"Shut up, Mark Lee," Donghyuck says and Mark is satisfied when he sees pink bloom on his cheeks.

"You know you love it," Mark says.

"Ugh I do," Donghyuck groans like it's the worst thing in the world. "And I love _you_ , for some weird reason," Donghyuck says, fake gagging.

Mark shoves his shoulder. "Ya!"

They both pause, processing what Mark just said.

Then Mark and Donghyuck look at each other and neither can stop themselves from bursting out into giggles.)

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> ...cause superm mark just hits different you know? 
> 
> If you liked this please leave a kudos :D  
> I would really like to know what you thought so please let me know in the comments!!
> 
>   
> [cc](https://curiouscat.me/wintersun66) & [twt](https://twitter.com/wintersun66)


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